When you marry someone, you are promising to love and cherish him/her until death. At that specific moment on the altar, divorce does not even cross your mind, love, joy, and happiness are in the air. However, a few years later, you find yourself in front of the attorney, signing for divorce, barely looking at your spouse, because all you can feel is hate, fear, sadness, rage, and more.
What a huge disappointment, a feeling of failure, a disillusion of what you thought would be forever, a big hole in your heart and your lungs. Yes, divorce can feel like the end of the world. Not to mention if children are involved. At that stage in your life, you may feel like you are all alone and there is no hope for a bright future.
THIS IS NOT TRUE!
There is life after divorce, and it can be a very positive experience if you allow it to be. Let us tell you how.
Look at the Bright Side
You need to try to find the silver lining in every situation. Start by writing down all the positive spin on life after divorce. To name a few:
- More time to pursue your hobbies and goals (reconnect with your inner self to understand what you really like to do)
- Stress level decrease (no more fights, conflicts, negative feelings, moral injury)
- Spend time alone doing things you like (cooking, reading, sleeping, watching tv)
- Go out for dinner with your girlfriends (more time to spend with your loving friends now that your spouse is no longer the priority)
- Find a new partner who would fit you better (get yourself out there, after you grieve obviously!)
Let us remind you that although society might pretend divorce is wrong, sometimes it’s not. It could be a second chance for you in life to find someone who understands you better. Or it could be an opportunity for you to realize that you prefer your own company for now. There’s nothing wrong with either way – it all comes down to how YOU feel and how YOU want to live your life.
The best part of divorce is the chance to start anew–to write new chapters in your own book. Don’t dwell on what’s already happened; it’s in the past. Instead, focus on the future and all that is yet to come.
Get help
Do not go through this alone. Emotional support from family and friends is associated with lower psychological distress. When you are in the midst of a divorce, this may sound unbelievable, but thanks to your family, you will find the strength needed to go through this. If you have children, they will be an even bigger source of strength for you. The key is to live in the present moment. One day after another and celebrate the process, congratulate yourself to have made it through this day.
Hiring a professional is key during divorce as you are likely emotionally fragile and not able to make clear decisions. Whether it is to debate custody, restraining order, home sale, or divorce conditions, we recommend you hire law attorneys. The Utah Family Law attorneys at Rulon T Burton & Associates will protect your rights in both divorce and custody cases, so that this experience isn’t any harder than it has to be. In the light of an often complex legal process, they are the experts who can help cut straight to the heart of the issue.
Take time to grieve
Divorce can be a very difficult process, and it is natural to feel a range of emotions, including grief. Grieving is the natural process of reacting to the loss, and it can take time to heal. There is no set timeline for grieving, so do not compare yourself to others. During a divorce, you may grieve the loss of the relationship, the loss of your dreams, and the loss of your family life.
It is perfectly natural to remember the good memories and values of your partner. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, and do not try to bottle up your emotions. Grieving allows you to accept the situation as it is, without judgment. Take with you the best of your marriage and try to replicate it for your next relationship with your new wishes.
Stay Zen
If you want to maintain a positive outlook after your divorce, you’ll need to change your mindset. Dedicate time each week for de-stressing activities that help you let go of negative emotions.
- Take an herbal bath (various herbs are recommended for specific problems)
- Use some lavender essential oils: it helps with love cure
- Do Yoga or Meditate
- Rest as much as possible
- Eat & Live healthily: attend a seminar on Your Health Now can help you reconnect with yourself
- Breath: Check here for breathing exercises
- Plan a trip to the seaside: do not underestimate the power of sea salt!
Get a spa/massage: You can start seeing yourself as your best friend again by treating yourself to some spa and skincare treatments.
Reconnect with your true-self
After a significant life event, such as a breakup, you may find it difficult to remember who you were before that happened. You may have gotten trapped in married Life and committed yourself fully to your spouse, to the point where you let your true self go. If you heard your ex-spouse tell you “I miss the person I first met,” at first it hurts. If you take the time to understand what this powerful phrase means, it simply signifies that you have lost your authenticity in the marriage.
But now that you are free as a bird, why not take the opportunity to find yourself again? What a real gift you’ve been given! Start with remembering all the things you loved to do prior to marriage:
- Run in the morning
- Take a coffee with your best friend
- Read books
- Go to a Yoga or Painting class
- Go to after-work or networking events
After a divorce, you’re given an opportunity to start over and reset who you are. You can finally be the person you’ve always dreamed to be.
No one said getting divorced would be easy, especially with children involved. But by following this advice, you can put a positive spin on your current situation and take control back of your life.